Goodbye...my Sarah Jane! People assume that time is a strict progression of cause-and-effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff. There was a war. A Time War. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now. My family. My friends. Even that sky. I'm Dr. James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory.
There was a war. A Time War. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now. My family. My friends. Even that sky. There's something else I've always wanted to say: Allons-y, Alonso! I'm Dr. James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory. You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up 'genocide'. You'll find a little picture of me there, and the caption'll read 'Over my dead body'.
Look at me. No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else I don't have: anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there with your silly little spaceships and your silly little guns and you've any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight; just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first. Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I'm absolutely sorted. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or, as I've always known him, Jeff.
Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings! There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good! I never know why. I only know who. Usually called 'The Doctor.' Or 'The Caretaker.' Or 'Get off this planet.' Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name.
The past is another country. 1987's just the Isle of Wight. Ricky, if I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent timeship, would you even begin to understand? Fantastic! Lots of planets have a North. Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother. And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anything; I'm on fire! You look beautiful! ...considering. That you're human. Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
When this is all over, you can find a shoulder to cry on. But for now, you need me. Soon, I expect. Or later. One of those. Well, I would say that that person would be an egomaniac, need, game-player sort of person. My carer. She cares so I don't have to. Clara, I'm not your boyfriend. I never said it was your mistake. No, not the hugging. I'm against the hugging. Old ladies die all the time. It's practically in the job description. Shut it, Hoodie! Underneath it all I think you're probably kind and nice, and very brave. I just wish you weren't a soldier.